My “Effect”

Dumbing Down America

Let's just try NOT to be smarter than a first grader.

Well, I know one thing for sure (I think)…Obama might be known for being a Columbia University, Harvard Law-educated, smarty-pants, but as far as I know, he doesn’t have an “Effect” named after him! So there!

Everyone everywhere is running around all bothered by “The Scarah Palin Effect”. My name will go down in history, and probably be studied in school textbooks (in Texas) as being the person who led somebody or did something, and that’s no little thing! Here’s what one Professor said about me:

“A close association between conservative, reactionary politics and religion is driving better educated Americans away from church, what Scott Schieman calls “the Sarah Palin effect.” – The Catholic Register

I say who needs the “better educated” in church? Aren’t they just question-askin’ troublemakers anyway? Good riddance as far as I’m concerned, and I know you think the same way, dont’cha?

So, when my 30 minutes of fame is over, and they write about me, and I know they will because they already do, I hope they include stories about how I made it a commonplace cultural activity to mock the educated. I want them to tell how I thumbed my nose at higher learning in place of good old commonsense conservaturdism; how I spread my garbled and unintelligible version of the bible and the constitution to the angry and uniformed masses; and how I got paid millions to spew angry zingers like “hopey-changey” and “death panels” and how I talked about imaginary branches of government. Darn-tootin’ I do! Those things are important accomplishments and I’m stickin’ by ’em! I am!

Now here’s my solemn promise to the baggers, the Wal-Mart shoppers, and all you folks in trailer parks all over this great nation of ours:

When I’m elected Queen, I mean President, in 2012, I fully intend to keep the dumbing-down of America in full-swing as long as I’m able to do so.

By the time I’m finished spreadin’ the “Scarah Palin Effect” all over this wonderful nation, there won’t be a need for programs like No Child Left Behind. It’ll just be called No Child Taught to Read. But, dont’cha worry one little bit about that, no siree. My kids can’t read and look how fabulous they’re all doin’!

And just know that when Scarah makes a promise, you can bank on it! Speakin’ of which, have you written a big fat check to Scarah PAC lately? If not, get out that pen! Right now!

©Scarah Palin 2010

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