Every once in awhile I have this recurring nightmare. Usually, it’s after another one of the awfully insensitive things I do, but I’d never admit that out loud. Well, I had it again last night. Probably because of my involvement in the trial of that kid who pranked me. Honestly, sometimes I think that the possibility of him getting up to 50 years for what really only amounted to a temporary inconvenience to me does seem a little steep!
So, in the dream I’m running across a frozen lake. There’s a helicopter flying over my head piloted by wolves, and some of them know how to use big guns… they’re shooting at me and I’m running for my life! My high-heals are getting stuck in the ice, and my Bump-It is floppin’ and my frightening hair is flappin’ in my eyes. Then I notice that there are moose and caribou and other majestic animals standing at the tree line munchin’ popcorn and making bets on how many shots it will take to bring me down! And Toad is there too… he’s ridin’ along beside me on his infernal snowmobile, with a Bud in one hand, hollering “Run Scarah, Run!”
Well, as if that wasn’t scary enough, last night there was a new twist. After the wolves flew past me, I thought I was gonna be OK, but then I heard screamin’ and chantin’ and there was a crowd of people in CSU Stanislaus t-shirts running after me, screaming things like “no bendy straws for you, harpie” and “we don’t need no stinkin’ winking” and “show us the money, honey”… Oh, it was horrible!!!!
Now, any thinking-person would assume that these nightmares are signs of guilt trying to squeak through my shiny Teflon exterior, but those thinkers would be dead wrong. I know this because guilt requires a conscience, and I don’t have one…. nope, not at all.
I’m just a little overly tired from all of my days on the road. All that screeching and carrying on that I do takes its toll, I tell ya’! I also think it must be Obama’s brain chip thingy trying to invade my mentalness. I really do. There’s just no end to things I can blame him for, no siree Bab.
©2010 Scarah Palin