Well, I’m just so proud of my performance down there in Tennessee last week! And, my sweet innocent Bristol also too. We (but mostly me) really wowed ’em. I made a point to smile like crazy (literally) while I was on the stand testifying as to how that hacker kid ruined at least 15 minutes of my otherwise perfect and Godly life.

I know there is some speculation as to whether I perjured myself when I said I only used that account for personal stuff. I mean, MSNBC has over 3,000 pages of emails from that account and over half of them discuss Governor-ish business from Alaska, but that doesn’t matter (because I said it doesn’t). I mostly used it for people to tell me about my kids (good thing someone was keepin’ an eye on ’em) and other various personal things. So, that’s that.

What does matter is consequences. There should be some… for other people’s kids. MY kids, on the other hand, are practically feral from lack of guidance, and are well aware that anything they do will be swept under the rug. I mean, there’s my lovely Bristol (she looks just like me when I was younger, last year)… she’s made more money off gettin’ knocked up than any other teenager in the world! Probably even more than Jamie Lynn Spears. Then there’s my soldier boy, Trapp, or Trick, or Track.. whatever his name is. He was arrested so many times that it was off to prison or serve in the military. Of course, he did the honorable thing (after so many dishonorable things). Now my mavericky little Willow is running with her girl gang, vandalizing homes (to the tune of over $20,000). She skated away without consequences under the umbrella of money and bully tactics.

Really, the only people who will suffer consequences when MY kids screw up will be anyone who goes after them, you betcha! And who knows what’s to come from my other 17, or 11, or 9.. oh, however many more there are? I’m just such a loving, protective mom to my little embarrassments, I mean kiddos.

Anyhoo, I think my Track-rec… I mean track-record is speakin’ for itself. Like I said when I went after Levi (Bristol’s baby daddy) with such a ferocious vengeance… “Show me a 19 or 22 year old kid, and I’ll show you an easy target!”

Oh yeah, in case anyone is thinkin’ of prosecuting ME for lying on the stand, or skirtin’ around legal issues regarding the use of personal email for government business, remember… we’re in Scarah Palin country! They’d willingly set themselves on fire before they come after me. And, everyone in the great state of Alaska certainly knows better by now, yes siree Bab!

Do you think they might rename Tennessee after me? Palinland sounds good, doesn’t it?

┬ęScarah Palin 2010

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